| Shappa's World | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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This property was reserved byShappaon 28 of Jan 1999 I'm 21 years old, from California, USA. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| A Guide for the romantically disinclined | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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1) At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.2) Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and ballance them in a tower on your table.3) Wipe your nose on your dates sleeve, twice.4) Make funny faces at other patrons, and then sneer at their reactions.5) Repeat every third third word you say say.6) Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most festerous" for your high school year book.7) Read a newspaper or book durring the meal, ignore your date.8) Stare at your dates neck, and grind your teeth audibly.9) Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend that you don't know what they are talking about.10) Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstreatched, and make airplane sounds.11) Order a bucket of lard.12) Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.13) Howl and whistle at women's legs, especialy if you are female.14) Recite your dateing history. Improvise, include pets.15) Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about himself/herself.16) Sacrifice frenchfries to the great deity, pomme.17) When ordering, inquire wheather the restaurant has any live food.18) Without asking, eat off your dates plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.19) Drool20) Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conversation."21) Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you. 22) Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a differant part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What the hell took you so long in the bathroom?!" 23) Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you. 24) Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates. 25) Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing up the subject periodically throughout the meal. 26) Ask your date how much money they have on them. 27) Order for your date. Order something nasty. 28) Refuse to communicate in anything but mime. 29) upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat. 30) Lick your plate. Offer to lick your dates. 31) Hum. Loudly. In monotone. 32) Fill your pockets with sugar packets as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements...i.e, anything that isn't bolted. 33) Hold a debate. Take both sides. 34) Undress your date verbally. Use a bull horn. 35) Auction your date off for silverware. 36) Slide under the table. Take your plate with you. 37) Order a baked potato. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "Never got." When the waiter returns with another potato, have the first one back on the plate. Watch the waiters face. 38) Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisions or comments. 39) Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around. 40) Dicuss boils andlesions, as if from a personal experience. 41) Speak pig latin throughout the meal. 42) Take a break, and go to the restroom. When you come back throw a pair of spare underware on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date with a straight face, "They need to air out." 43) If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite, pretend like the food is discusting and say, "Boy did you get ripped off!" 44) Bring 20 or 30 candles into the restaurant. Durring the meal, get up and arrange them in a circle around the table. Chant. 45) Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you are taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's lots cheaper then actually feeding her. 46) Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt. 47) Insist that the waiter cut your food into little peices. In a simmular manner insist that he take a bite of everything to make sure no one has poisoned your food. 48) Accuse your date of esionage, pretend you have a microphone hidden on your body and you are talking to the CIA. 49) Don't use any verbs durring the entire meal. 50) Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow. 51) Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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My interests:�Art and Artists�Dance/Theatre�Fantasy/Role Playing�Fashion�Philosophy�Pubs and Clubs�Sports: American Football�Sports: Baseball�Sports: Basketball |
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